I am turning 30 next month and I've also never even been on a date. I do struggle with getting close to people and just having fruitful social interactions that lead to friendship in general, but my main issue was and is probably that I am gender non-conforming and very "masculine" but at the same time I'm only attracted to men and men don't seem to be able to be attracted to me, which is rather tragic.

Now, I think trust/vulnerability issues and less than perfect social skills both make it hard to make friends and form bonds of all type, AND are a result of the lack of experience with more substantial, successful connections. It's like a sort of vicious circle where these issues initially might have kept you from building bonds and gathering experience, then the lack of experience as time went on made these issues worse.

People do learn through experience and example so there is a need for that and lack of experience doesn't matter so much when most people you come into contact with are on similar levels of inexperience, but then as people do gather experience and their expectations and ability naturally evolves, it becomes a problem and makes everything more daunting too(like trying to compete in the Olympics with no training).

So I think you should bring it up (if u want to and you think you can do it) in therapy because it's one more piece of the puzzle ,another.

Ok, I'll be real here. Do you have a natural desire/need to have intimacy, affection and physical pleasure of a sexual/romantic nature in your life? Is it bothering you emotionally that you are not and haven't had that so far? I mean not in the sense of it bothering you by comparison with others or because you haven't ticked a box or any social pressure like that. No, I mean, does it emotionally cause you pain because it's just a need you have and it's not being met? If yes then it's an important thing and you deserve to have your needs met, you deserve to find love, pleasure, touch, etc. Maybe the therapist can help.

This is what always bugs me, that people say there's no right age and everything is fine and you shouldn't feel bad. Yes, there should be no social stigma and there's no "right" age in that sense and it should be socially ok even if you never have a first kiss or have sex in your life, you should never feel put down or regarded as inferior for it.

However, most of us need these things, we need kissing, hugging, sex, we need intimacy, love, connection. We're generally wired to have this need and it's definitely not healthy or ok if you have this need and it's never met. Maybe it won't physically kill anyone but there's proof that lack of these things in general tend to affect physical and mental health and these things heavily contribute to a fulfilling, happy, content existence. So let's not say it's not big deal because sure, it shouldn't be a big deal in terms of social pressure and social standing, but a need is a need and it's a big deal if your needs aren't met.

So I'd say if you do have a craving and need for these things, it might be useful to bring the issue up with someone like a therapist, so as to take one more step towards meeting that need. It's not a shame, that's for sure.