Once upon a time I was good at hiding what I was going through but no more. If I am severely depressed, I am nearly catatonic and it is noticeable. In fall of 2014 I started the school year extremely depressed and was known as "the teacher who never smiles" by my students. Yeah I ended up having to take three months off on disability to get treatment.

I think the disconnect comes with my competency. Everyone always tells me how capable I am but I feel like a fraud. That was basically confirmed when I lost my job this year. Now I know that my superiors can see my incompetency that I thought I was hiding well. Big blow to my already low self confidence.

I have coworkers telling me it was unfair and it wasn't my fault because I had a really difficult student who caused problems in ALL her classes, not just mine, but I just don't know.

I have always felt, when receiving compliments, that these people don't really know me and if they did they wouldn't have anything nice to say. Maybe that's wrong.