You did what you felt had to be done at the time. It's natural to go through feelings of loss, remorse, or guilt, for a while, but remember that you did what you felt what was right then. I have a dear friend going through these feelings right now... for her it was fear of what the drugs and alcohol would have done, afraid that she wouldn't be able to give that baby a chance of a healthy life. I don't know if you beleive in god, Justy. But if you do, you know god forgives. You need to forgive your self, you will some day if you can't right now.
I don't know where souls go, but I've a good feeling that little soul gets another chance, and in the time in between, it understands. Wherever we go when we're not on this plane of existence, there are no grudges.
Please be safe, Justy. Don't give in to the thing that wants to punish you. You're already in pain. Keep talking to us, don't give in.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Justy)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))