Your husband sounds a lot like mine. When I went IP once, he said the exact same thing, that I blindsided him and that it came out of nowhere, he had no idea why I was going IP and he felt that me and my therapist had plotted it out without including his opinion or thoughts on the matter. I tend to hide it when I'm feeling bad because he makes me feel guilty about it and like I'm not a strong person because I can't handle life or something like that. Then it comes down to him making it about him, which it's not, depression and feeling bad aren't about my husband, my bipolar is not about him and my symptoms aren't about him but somehow he can make it so that it is. So what has happened in my house is that I have stopped hiding it with a mask when I have a bad day, week, whatever and just let everyone know I'm not feeling great, that I'm really irritable, feeling down, whatever and that it is what it is, I'm sorry but that I'm putting it out there for their benefit so no one takes it personally and then we avoid talking about my bipolar because my husband doesn't like talking about it. He thinks and has said it, that if we talk about it, it becomes the focus of everything and takes over life.... yeah...right. It never has been that way. I never has been that way because I've always done my best to hide what I was going through and only has it become a focus in our household was during times of crisis when I couldn't hold it in anymore and had to go IP for suicide attempts or couldn't hold back the intensity of a mixed episode anymore. So, now, we just don't talk about it. It's not the healthiest situation. He has a list of my meds in his wallet that I gave him in case I were ever in an accident and he needed to give them to the hospital but that's as far as it goes with his knowledge about my bipolar.

I understand where you're coming from and truly feel for you. I'm sorry you're going through it. I hope you find some relief from your depression soon and if you have to go IP again, then go and don't feel guilty. You're not weak, you are strong and you are fighting. I know it's hard for you to make your husband understand. Just let him know you love him and that you are doing the best you can. Hang in there!