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Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.
I don't know...it still seems wrong to be friends with someone I'm attracted to or could be attracted to. Another problem is that I'll either not be comfortable making conversation with someone or I won't know what to say. Even if I find someone I'm comfortable with and can actually have a conversation with (that's rare) that I have no attraction to, then what? Even going for coffee with someone in the past has resulted in them using me to do their homework for them. I get that I'm supposed to do something with them, but what? I'm more comfortable in small groups or one on one (which rules out friendships with guys) and I'm not sure what we're supposed to do to hang out.
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If you are struggling to make social connections it sometimes helps to have a common interest for conversations, with me sport/exercise is a big part of my social life. I find it so much easier to have activities in common to talk about. But honestly if I am ever stuck for a conversation I always ask people about themselves - most people love to talk about themselves/their jobs/their families, their holidays etc etc.
Things often roll from there - and most people are interesting (if you don't find them so then maybe they aren't the right friend for you). I'm comfortable in smaller groups too btw, and find conversations can be much more interesting and in depth.
Quote:
Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.
I've also noticed that if I'm with my partner, someone talking to us will talk to him and completely ignore me. I'm not that great at reading body language, but if I'm reading it right, their body language suggests that I absolutely don't exist. Maybe if they're done talking to him they may acknowledge me. I can't leave either or it will upset him. I wish I could though as it's uncomfortable and it feels like I'm eavesdropping. So I don't know what that's about...is it just because I'm female and other men will just think of me as my partner's accessory instead of an actual person? If we weren't together would I be considered a real person?
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Does your partner notice this too (checking that your perception is right of the body language)? Even if they are his friends rather than yours it's not polite not to include you. Maybe raise this with him and see if he can involve you in these conversations too?
It shouldn't be because you are seen as female/an accessory (not unless these are really immature men!), certainly not in my experience anyway.