Thanks Leia, it is helpful knowing I'm not alone. I feel like I just need to keep it to myself. I feel like if he was more supportive and if he would learn more about my illness it would make things a bit easier. Sometimes it would be helpful if someone could tell me I can do this, I can make it through. Instead I bottle it up and lay in bed thinking of the best way to go. I have 2 years till my youngest is an adult, two more years I must hang on. Instead I cry and SI.