Thanks sopiesmom!
I would like to share some of my story even though its difficult and is like opening up an old wound.
I'm ready to hold out for someone special, I think I could handle a date.

So I will have to go back and forth but I never had a supportive family growing up. My mum preferred my brother and hated my biological father, I felt they both just used me as a pawn to get back at one another. I was ashamed of my father as he never worked all time I knew him, he had underlying depression most likely he lived in the past and felt sorry for himself had an inferiority complex. When I got my first full time job he just sneered and criticised me saying it was a lazy option so we fell out.
My mother had a fiery temper. Ill always remember when I got my exam results and she just ignored me. Her and my step dad tried to get me to join the army at sixteen . A teacher told them to save for university and they told me to **** off to the forces as I should thank them for putting a roof over my head. So u can deduce emotionally I never got what I needed . They drunk in the pub four times a night and never had money for me or sibling.
I had some fighting spirit in me and held onto the fact that one day I might be something despite the VERBAL ABUSE I endured. Its sometimes harder to shake verbal abuse. I have stories to tell but this is an intro. I need to go meeting friend but I will carry on later.
Thanks for the encouragement sophiesmom!