Quote:
Originally Posted by precaryous
Vent-
DD, 37yo, just learned she is very sick with heart failure. Went with her yesterday to meet cardiologist and find out their treatment plan. It was distressing for both us to learn how sick she is, but she behaved appropriately. Went to the lab next, They treated her very unprofessionally. We dealt with it. I thought she had calmed down but I see, now, this is when her emotions began to ramp up. She went back to work, I went home.
She called me when she got home rehashing the day and figuring out questions she needs to ask at her next appointment in a week. Understandable. But she had a meltdown. My T calls it being "dysregulated." I didn't even know "dysregulated" was a real term. T told me earlier when DD's emotions become "dysregulated," she's not going to be able to listen to logic or explanations. She misinterpreted and found offense with every sentence or phrase I tried to say. I never see it coming, it's so abrupt.
I became so frustrated, I hung up on her.
I don't know how I'm going to be able to be supportive through her illness and recovery. She's my baby and this could be a life threatening illness- of course I want to be there and help her.
Btw, she has ADHD.
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I am sorry to hear about your daughter.
I don't know if this will be useful or not -but when my person was going through horrible chemo or had been told some horrible news about her cancer = I had to remember that her lashing out at me was because I was safe - I was not going to leave her; that it was not personal; and to sometimes just not say anything - and when she would accuse me of not saying anything - I would explain that I while I could not fully understand how she felt - that I felt so bad that I could not fix it - and all I could do at that moment was be with her because I could not say anything to make it better.
And there were times when I had to say - now wait - I have to step back for an hour or so because although you get to feel how you feel, I get to take a break when you start taking it out on me.
There was one really bad chemo period where she would cry and yell at me to leave and she never wanted to see me again and then by the time I got down the hall - she was texting me about where was I and when was I coming back.
It was trying.