I feel paralyzed - just in my bed now crying. The pain is just too much right now. I feel like I'm a danger to myself. Keep thinking about taking a belt around my neck. I can't keep going like this, I just want it to stop. I wish I had someone who really cared for me, and loved me for who I am. Right now I just don't know what to do. My heart is beating faster than usual, I have some anxiety because of my suicidal thoughts, and also from looking into the future. It will never end. I wish I could talk directly to some of you.