I am 31, my husband is almost 40. we have been talking about trying to have a baby in the near future. I really want to but I am terrified I won't be able to handle it. I'm not even scared of the things I "should" be scared of, e.g., giving up my autonomy, having enough money, being a good mother, etc. All my fears are completely selfish and oriented around my moods and anxiety. As someone very phobic of throwing up, I am terrified of morning sickness. I am also scared being pregnant would bring back my OCD symptoms and make me have more panic attacks. I'm afraid of prenatal and especially postpartum depression (my grandma had to be hospitalized an undergo shock treatment after my dad was born). I'm afraid of going off zoloft but I'm also afraid to stay on it. Don't I sound like I would be just so lovely to be around?!

It makes me sad that this is the stuff on my mind, but I don't know how to be otherwise. How did you all do it?