I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling.

I see all of your posts but never know what to say because I don't feel like I have the right words.
I think it would be wise to focus on yourself, your life and improving your mental health before even thinking about getting into a long-term relationship. You need to be at a certain level of stability to be able to be in a healthy relationship, and I'm sure you want to be at that level first.