Well, I can only go out more and keep saving money.

The thing that troubles me the most is actually how I come across other people. I'm very self conscious and socially anxious because I kept getting negative feedback from others my whole life. I obsessively research interpersonal skills and stuff like that (I'm also keen on neuropsychology and neurobiology) but most things that happen when you're around others are spontaneous and you don't always have control over your responses. My appearance itself is an issue, because I have this aggressive, unusual look and very sharp features, very deep voice etc. I was bullied since primary school until high school, for my looks but also for my behaviour (lack of natural social skills, acting blunt often, being too proud, critical, zealous etc). There was a time in my life where I was attending a school abroad and would get physically and mentally threatened on a regular basis. Then in high school I had this rebellious phase that wasn't that bad in the end cause I started getting friends and people around me and with many of them I'm still in touch (I'm from a small town where everyone knows everyone). I really overlooked my behaviour like two years ago after I was physically attacked along with my friend (the cause was completely random and stupid, but people got seriously drunk and it started, the party was in another city, with people we didn't know well), and some gal that heard of me only from stories used the opportunity to try to fight me but also told me how awful I am and everyone hates me etc. I got really down for a year and started getting even more defensive and anxious. I stopped doing some things and try to act fair with people and kind of improved on that.
But the point is, there is something about the way I speak, my voice (okay, I really do have a weird prosody, even when I listened to myself on a tape), my looks, I don't know, that still stresses people out sometimes. I've been sometimes told that either people get stressed by me or I look stressed. Like, yesterday I went to the pub with my friends and there was some guy, who only heard of me, didn't know me, like really stoned and drunk (everyone wanted to get rid of him), but he just said something random approaching us and I didn't even open my mouth yet and he was like "Woah, you, you think I'm scared of you or something?" and I was like "Eeeee?". Not the first time, drunk or stoned people used to tell me such things in the past too. Maybe they say something sober people won't. But it also happens to me to offend people while I don't even know I'm offending them, like maybe two hours later when I think of it. Few days ago I was finishing my morning shift, sleep deprived at that time (always sleep deprived on morning shifts which make me get up before 4 in the morning) and I went to my coworker and she chose the wrong workstation that day so we couldn't work together and was like "Oh, you've ran away so far from us today!" and I just wanted to joke and said "Well, I think before I chose the workstation! Like, strategically" but it didn't sound like a joke at all (that also happens often), just awkward. Or I was parking with my guy friend, he was driving and said "I parked terribly, but I'll be off for a second, will you repark the car if someone has a problem?" and I went "Oh, it's called parallel parking in English I think and it's diffi..." "Will you repark the car if something?" "Oh, yeah". Like, there is a wall between me and what other people say sometimes and how I filter it. Wrong Theory of Mind, or something. I'm also very anxious at work, because we work in a huge open plan space and you are constantly watched and forced to interact.
I keep on being around people, it's like a desensatization technique, but it only helps to lessen the general anxiety.