Sorry to hear that you are struggling.

I am not sure how old you are, but if you are in school you could always talk to a school counselor. If you are older, have you thought about seeking therapy? It can be beneficial to have a professional to work through these struggles with.

Also please continue to post here on PC as needed. This is a very supportive community with many people who can relate to your issues. I too get jealous sometimes when hearing about someone else's accomplishments. What has helped me is to remind myself that I am different, and although I may accomplish things slower than the "normal" population, I will get there in time.