Ok but I have to warn you there are a lot, lot, lot of bugs in my swamp. I have a spare bedroom (now that the kids moved out) with one of those blow up bed things (qn size).

Now when we get to the scratching behind the ears........I don't know about that. You'll have to take care of that yourself. I do have a couch though. You have to share with the dog. Now she might scratch behind your ears if you ask real nice.