memory is a strange thing. most children remember nursery rhymes after hearing them a few times. no, my memory problems go beyond the normal. even now when I have children I can not remember a nursery rhyme. most people remember to close the refrigerator door. me nope sometimes I even forget why i was in the fridge to begin with. most human beings remember when they ate last, they may not know the exact time but they know whether they ate their breakfast (whether that first meal was at 5 am or at 5 pm they know they ate at least once today. me nope...

my day is filled with did I remember to do this, did i do that, and where in the heck .....

so why do i have such a bad memory... well it could be because I have dissociation problems, it could be because of my medications, it could be because I have MS, it could be because I have depressive disorders, or trauma and stress related disorders...in other words it comes from many different areas of my life and because of many different reasons.

this is one reason why I like this site. at the moment there are a total of 430,575 members and the list climbs higher every day..

physically it is impossible to know each and every one of those 430,575 members, what they have posted in the past, what their triggers are and who welcomes replies, hugs, thanks, pms, ... and who doesnt.

this site helps out in that area by providing profiles where we can click a members name, read their posts, every time I come on line a huge part of my "jogging my memory" is clicking into members profiles to see who is who and all that.

This site also helps out my memory process in another important way. theres no way for me to know what triggers who and who doesnt want me to reply to them or wants me to reply. wouldnt it be nice if I did not have a dissociative memory problem, a medication memory problem, MS induced memory problem. and had one of those photographic memories, where i could think oh this member doesnt like hugs or that person doesnt like that and this triggers that person...but I dont...

instead I rely on what tools this site supplies.. the ignore list. this is so that if others are triggered by me or something i have said they can take care of their own triggers and I dont have to try and remember out of 430,575 members who is who and who gets upset by what.

bottom line is we cant control who posts what and where each other posts what. There are plenty of people from time to time that I have had to place on ignore in order to take care of my own triggering reactions. I dont expect others to remember what triggers me and that I would rather they not reply to me. I mean come on throw 430,575 people in one room and tell them this person gets upset by that or dont take to this person or that one, are they going to remember... no. so I dont expect others to remember what my problems and triggers are and who should or should not post replies to me.

I place them on ignore this way they get a reminder when trying to post to me that says you are on this users ignore list, you can not reply in this thread.. problem solved.

in my real life I do something similar to this... at work I have various reminder signs that tell my co workers when I am busy, when I am on the phone and other such reminders. I have a co worker that literally wears a hello my name is____ because he got tired of some of us on the job not remembering his name.

At home I have various ways to jog my memory through the use of writing lists, calendars, journal writing...

yes memory is a very strange thing sometimes.

my point is that should i forget someones name or trigger or that they have asked me not to reply to them its not an attack. its just how memory works for some people.

a tip here if you are a sensitive person with lots of triggers, help others out by using the ignore list when you are feeling triggered. thats what its there for. it doesnt say anything about whether you like or hate a person or that you are trying to punish or prevent others from posting. if someone really feels they need to discuss something and you have them on ignore they can make their own threads on the same issue/topic. and its not an attack if someone suggests you use the ignore list. they are just wanting you to be safe and take care of yourself. thats what its there for.

I have found that using the ignore list really helps out my dissociative memory and my dissociative trigger reactions so that Im not taking my problems out on others.