I would also like to say, you don't need to know why right now. The pushing is triggering for you and yours right now. That should be enough reason for her to acknowledge that approach is not working.

The parts not saying their names or identifying themselves probably comes out of a protective instinct, I would guess. Think of it more like a phobia of heights or spiders. Not every spider is able to kill you and falling 5 ft isn't going to cause much harm, but falling from higher or coming across a brown recluse or black widow on the other hand, that fear becomes healthy. At some point, the parts have probably been hurt somehow after identifying themselves. Now, you T isn't (intentionally) going to harm them, but the fear is still there.

For me, I always wondered why I didn't remember anything from before 17 years old. I wanted to know why and I wanted to know what I wasn't remembering. It took time, and I found out why. I wasn't there. I'm not the original, I'm just the host. I came to being when the body was 17. As for the not remembering and wanting to know what happened, those memories are still hidden. However, I've come to realize that when I am ready to know, the insiders will let me know. While each insider holds their own memories, there are a few who remember everything from the point the system emerged. I came to the understanding that not knowing is protecting me, in some way, and I just had to accept that for now.

I had a T, the very first time any insider came out with her, ask him what happened to him. First, no, just no. Second, that insider is 9 years old, so again, no. Third, she completely ruined any trust that was beginning to develop there, just by asking.

I say this, because sometimes Ts need to have it brought to their attention that their approach is not working. They only do what they have been taught and trained to do, and sometimes forget that different clients need different approaches.

We have to stand up for what we need. They can't read our minds, so unless we say it, they often don't know how triggering things are to us.