I spend 90 % of my waking life alone.....for me it is a refuge alone....I do so very much understand....your words of being around people and finding yourself feeling even more alone....When we are by ourselves....there is no expectation...no one is there....life comes at you....in that measure of one.....the response is free....from anything....other than your own strictures....in any form they take...they are only measured from one....

Other people...shift your awareness....of what IS..'one'....the measure shifts....expectations rise....the biggest expectation....is that it is no longer....just one...there is more.....only to find...often...we are not a measure in other peoples lives...they have not been alone....so our....one...has no value........not a measure that shifts in their world....the way it does for those of us who are one...

It is rather abrupt...the tearing in our beliefs....that our one is an addition.....how could it not be....for us it is....for those who live in many.....we are easily lost....for they have no need....of just one.....we are just more...or less........and that can have no value....in the way....it does for a one.....we have to give them something to measure us by....and then too....it has to be enough....for them to even want to add another....one....

Mostly I have no wish to mine for others wants.....or measure into their realm of what makes me enough......for their effort.....I feel it...that lack....yet mostly only when I am around them.....for their response......is from their own graspings of what is worthy....of their expectations.....I can laugh at that....for I rarely measure to ANY expectation......

Blessings to you.....