Ok previous posts all over this forum may of already indicated this but I hate getting close to people and I think most of the time, I push them away out of fear of this happening....

I've been going to therapy for 6 weeks and I really like my therapist, he is great.
He was nice enough to let me go 2x the week of the 18th because of a major issue I was dealing with but then he was sick this past week so I didn't go at all. He has offered me Tues and my regular Friday....

Anyway I am just now realizing, I've spent the past few days trying to talk myself out of going both days for any reason I can think of, and I think I am already starting to push him away. I am terrified beyond words to get close to him and know that he will leave me eventually

I have a lot of things I still wanna work on, my phobias, my trust issues etc but I am seriously at the point where I don't know if I can go back. I'm too scared.

Can anyone offer advice besides, just quit? I really wanna push through this somehow but I am not able to mentally convince myself I need to go both days. I am more or less convinced I am wasting his time and not that important.