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May 28, 2017, 01:12 PM
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Member Since: May 2017
Location: England
Posts: 40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DodgersMom
Ok previous posts all over this forum may of already indicated this but I hate getting close to people and I think most of the time, I push them away out of fear of this happening....
I've been going to therapy for 6 weeks and I really like my therapist, he is great.
He was nice enough to let me go 2x the week of the 18th because of a major issue I was dealing with but then he was sick this past week so I didn't go at all. He has offered me Tues and my regular Friday....
Anyway I am just now realizing, I've spent the past few days trying to talk myself out of going both days for any reason I can think of, and I think I am already starting to push him away. I am terrified beyond words to get close to him and know that he will leave me eventually
I have a lot of things I still wanna work on, my phobias, my trust issues etc but I am seriously at the point where I don't know if I can go back. I'm too scared.
Can anyone offer advice besides, just quit? I really wanna push through this somehow but I am not able to mentally convince myself I need to go both days. I am more or less convinced I am wasting his time and not that important.
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Sorry you are feeling this way. Forming a therapeutic relationship can be difficult for those who find it hard to form any relationships or "get close" to others. I understand what you are going through and I was leaving therapy because I am scared of getting attached to my therapist and the whole idea of starting this knowing that it will end is very scary to me but I am still trying to go and trying to work with my therapist through this.
DO NOT quit. It is definitely not a solution to your problem and you will end up feeling bad. Try to push yourself to go. I find writing lists of pros and cons helps to convince yourself that it is the right thing to do and if you feel that two sessions are too much maybe talk to your therapist and discuss the possibility of having one instead two sessions. Please know that you are not wasting his time. It is his job to help and guide you through this and you are there for a reason which is for you to feel better and that is important enough 
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