This hurts so much. I went through it with my grandma just over 5 years ago, but that was different. This is so much worse.

I keep crying in "spurts", and then I will feel numb again, only to have another "spurt".

I was feeling stronger this morning and like I might be able to pull through, even though I had 3 or 4 crying spurts. But then my sister happened, then my grandpa showed up, and now my grandma and her husband are out in the living room and talking to my mom, who is already half wasted by 4pm, and I am just so SICK of people!!

LEAVE ME THE *** ALONE!!

I still have to make a list of songs for my dad's funeral and burn them onto a CD by Tuesday!