There certainly have been times in which I have questioned my own capabilities. But earlier on within my own life, I understood something quite simple: For most of my life, I had been merely living upon the expectations of others, unto what they defined as "success". Success or loss, in terms of time efficiency, are merely perceivable, but they lack objectivity. Your success is determined in how you personally acknowledge the resourcefulness of your time. The most destructive failure to one individual may be the grandest success for another.

Thirteen years within traditional schooling -- worthless to me, yet it was mandated by federal law. The most principle of knowledge was bestowed upon me by relatives, and the exceptional knowledge was largely self-taught. I spent quite possibly the first fifteen years of my life convinced of the fate drawn out before me, not of my own accord, but through the expectations of norm. "Make high grades, go to college, find a sufficient occupation, marry, have children, grow old, and die." Of course, I could have chosen this fate. Perhaps certain aspects of it were necessary, such as my entrance into college (but only due to the necessity of college towards engineering knowledge), but honestly, I wasted so much time accepting blind advice from others that I neglected what I myself aspired for. That standard "life" was not my dream, but rather, my nightmare. Children? A predictable schedule? A bland, boring life of waiting? It altered my entire perspective, in the end. Grades, relationships, and minute participation were irrelevant to me after a certain point, aside from their ability to land me scholarships.

College certainly has proven to be quite the scam. Various courses unnecessary to my major are mandated, and they are expensive nonetheless. I suppose it does not help when they attempt to evolve such subjects into ideology courses, which professors really love to do. I have no future intentions other than self-employment and travel, for little else is of interest. The time I spent on the internet, reading, or playing made me realize one thing: What I appreciated more than all else was to learn and explore. My entire life within traditional schooling has been the opposite -- rote memorization but no learning. And to top it off, each adult figure within that system held unequivocal "superiority", or rather authority, over the students. There was no objectivity, nor did there exist room for proper skepticism. Students were punished and ridiculed if they dare question an authority before them. Pair that with thirteen years of the reinforcement of standard norm, and I suppose it was expected that I would be convinced of that norm at some point. It works for some people, no doubt, but I have come to reject the aspects of it which conflict with my own aspirations. And as a result, I can firmly attest that I have never been a suck-up as a result.

Your own success is for you alone to define. No authority nor culture has the capability of defining success for you. So long as you acquire proper independence and sustainability, then your life is for you to live as you choose. If your desire is accomplishment, then ensure that your accomplishments are of your own will and not of someone else's.