Quote:
Originally Posted by subtle lights
The thing is that when I'm there I'm usually overwhelmed so it's really hard for me to talk about really important stuff. For example these days I went through something that was constantly on my mind but then when I go to T chances are I might start talking about something else. He says, that then probably the other thing was not so important. But I think it was as it has been eating me away for days. Just that in T I can't focuse because of the overwhelm.
And then I get out of there frustrated that I haven't talked about anything except me being overwhelmed and at the end I got to something deeper but oops, the clock is ticking, and it's soon over.
Can you email your T? In my case it's not really possible, probably because it doesn't fit into the "present-moment" paradigm. But I do have issues with opening up in the present moment and my thoughts start flowing only towards the end of the hour, but then it's over and I would need it so much to share things with him but I can't. And the next time it is the same all over...
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Have you expressed to your T that you're feeling overwhelmed in session? Because you're right, that would definitely make it more difficult to share things that you feel are important.
Your T saying "it wasn't important," isn't quite right, but I've had experiences similar in my sessions. I walked in one time and said something to the effect of "I have so much to talk about and don't know where to start." My Ts response was, "well, what feels most emotionally pressing right now?" Not that the other things weren't important, but that I was most affected by what we ended up talking about.
I don't email my T, no. I've texted him once, but that was in a semi-crisis moment. I've never discussed out of session contact with him, so I don't know what his boundary is. The no contact thing is a Daisy boundary. I don't want to become too reliant on any T.