Just sounds to me like when your mom actually died, your mind went into a state of shock or disbelief. Now that shock and disbelief has worn off and so when something happens that normally you would look to your Mom to help you with or through, you are starting to feel bits of that initial pain you would have had 3yrs ago. Grief is processed differently and at different speeds by different people. There is no right nor wrong way to grieve. There is no time limit. Don't place blame on yourself where there is none. I made that mistake myself and it took decades to overcome. I still have occasions I deal with it. You are not being attention seeking. You are simply trying to heal.