Give yourself time to recover. You know what happens when you're in a train wreck? You go to hospital, then into rehabilitation, then you take years for your bones to recover and so on. You've been through so much and instead of getting the help you need, you've been blamed and you've been blaming yourself. Guess what? It's not your fault. Sometimes life is just too tough. People fall sick all the time and we give them medicine and tell them to rest and help them to recover. But when we get emotional hardships, it's like we have to deal with it ourselves. Often we can't. Like some people don't fall sick in their lives and other people catch a cold everytime the temperature changes. We don't beat up those people who fail sick easily. Why are we so hard on people when it comes to emotional problems? Don't be so hard on yourself. You can get well again. That's the one bright light about emotions. We can heal and we can be stronger after that. You will be alright. Just be kinder to yourself. You're not to blame. You deserve better. Don't be ashamed to get help. Find another doctor if the one you're seeing is not helping you. You have the right. After all you've been through, you deserve the best you can get.