I'm extremely negative and I'm ruining my life because of it. I was in a better place before this past relationship. This relationship and breakup just took what was left of me. Now I'm in a constant fear of not knowing if my ex boyfriend was the greatest person ever and I just pushed him away for nothing and because I got delusional that he was manipulating me or somehow psychopathic. Or was it wrong of him to have so many female friends and almost every other day mention how "great fun" some of these girls are. I was not a jealous person before but eventually him praising other girls was just exhausting.

Two nights ago when I was out with this group of friends, I ended up talking about the break up with a common friend. He said that to him it seems like my ex might be polyamorous. I didn't bring it up. He did. I asked him if my ex ever said something like this. He said no, but that it his instinct says this might be the case.

My ex has a future plan of building a big house together with some friends. Every couple would have their own apartment though. But this just makes me think if in fact he wants to be with more than one woman at a time? I am just so confused. I'm trying so hard to make sense of things.