Welcome. I see this is only your 2nd post. I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. I like the poster's advice about saying hello to people and getting to know the people around you. What if you made a small goals list and take baby steps toward the life you want? Is that doable? Maybe you could get some self-help books about your insecurities and how to build self esteem. That's four things on your list knocked out. Could you look for a higher paying job or look for ways to cut expenses? I see that you're an immigrant. Is this causing you problems? Can you see a doctor to see if you have a diagnosis and maybe start medication to give you some relief? I hope you start feeling better and I'm here if you want to talk.