Hi, sorry if this posts ends up a little longer than my others, it might take me a while to bring myself to explain parts of this. So I have been having frequent nightmares for as long as I can remember, though in reality it may have been only a few years or so, as well as having trouble getting to sleep. Anyways, in the last few months to a year, they have become more frequent, occurring nearly every night, and more intense. Sometimes they are about things I've been worrying about, such as grades, my friend (yes not plural) or my family, and sometimes they seem to come out of nowhere. These dreams have begun to cause me a great deal of distress, and sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night crying, shaking, and/or choking and feeling like I was suffocating. Recently I woke up finding that I couldn't move at all or think clearly, almost like I was stuck between dreaming and reality, and I had a major panic attack. I usually ended up being killed in my dreams, though I always woke up right before I did. Now I've been waking up after I died, and something else has been happening lately that I've been worrying about. I have had suicidal thoughts often, though I have never really acted on them. That is, I've held a gun to my head before with the finger in the trigger, but I've always stopped short of actually doing it, and along that line. Lately in my dreams, I have often stopped running and given up, letting myself be killed, or begging the people in my dreams to kill me (they do). I should also maybe mention that I'm nearly always in pain in my dreams (I don't know if it's real pain or not, but it sure feels it), and I'm in pain a lot when I wake up (chest and heart hurting, sore ribs, joints, etc). However, I've also started having dreams where I went through with it and killed my self, and I'm worried about what that means. Do you think it means that I'm getting worse or am I just overreacting? Sorry for the long unorganized post, but thanks for reading! It means a lot to me.