Quote:
Originally Posted by daisydid
My H and I do this as well. He'll be feeling something, I'll ask what's bothering him. He'll say it's nothing or that he doesn't want to talk about it, which I take to mean that he's frustrated with me. I'll ask if he's angry/frustrated, to which he'll usually reply, "no, but if you keep asking I will be."
I didn't grow up in a household that modeled healthy confrontation, so I'm frightened of any confrontation now.
On the plus side, it's nice that you're seeing MC today so that you guys can navigate this incident together in a safe place.
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My parents NEVER fought (at least not in front of me), so the few times they expressed anger at me were really scary. I had no model of confrontation at all, so I tend to be a conflict avoider. Really, both H and I were for the most part *both* conflict-avoidant, until we had our daughter. And it can be annoying if MC is just like "it's OK for someone to be angry with you," or "You got through it, you handled it" if H and I have a fight. Because, yeah, OK, but there's still probably some issue there (communication or otherwise) behind the fight. And it's not helpful when MC says that (I did go off on MC about that recently, the "you handled it" thing, so he hasn't really done that part since!)