Even special needs children desire and need boundaries (perhaps moreso). If they are allowed to run the show, they don't know what to do with that and they can continue pushing until someone finally puts the boundaries in place for them (unfortunately as they push they can lose control which is why consistency in boundaries early on rather reactively is really important). I've spent much time working with special needs students as as well as rearing one of my own. It's easy to fall into the "they can't do it" belief when it is our own children and excuse and coddle them into helplessness. It was one of the lessons I really had to work hard to overcome as a parent, and I know I did our son a disservice early on by not expecting more of him because I was trying to protect him. One of the few parenting things I wish I could redo.