View Single Post
 
Old May 29, 2017, 01:58 PM
sadandlonelyinspain sadandlonelyinspain is offline
Member
 
Member Since: May 2017
Location: Spain
Posts: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Onward2wards View Post
If you think about it, a lot of the reactions you now feel awkward about looking back, were pretty common age-appropriate reactions to life stresses and losses at the time. The loss of your aunt must have hit really hard, considering her importance in your life.

I have problems opening up in therapy also. I was one of the shy kids who got bullied a lot in the past, and that builds some walls without conscious knowledge I think. I wish I had told therapists up front that opening up fully is a problem of mine. I think if you do this right away, your progress may be improved.

I recently found that working on improving self-esteem and self-confidence has a positive effect on my social anxiety. The image of ourselves we keep in our minds definitely affects how we act around others. If I work on developing a new skill, remind myself of positive interactions I have with friends, deliberately try to do nice things for people, give myself credit for trying my best - anything like that - I also feel a bit more socially confident.

There is a common reaction people have to chronic stress called "learned helplessness". This is where you begin to feel passively resigned to whatever is happening and find it hard to get motivated to change anything. I find it very helpful to be aware of when I do this, because that state of mind is harmful. It feels "rational and understandable", and it sneaks up on you, but in fact it doesn't really help change anything for the better. Any positive thing you can do to leave that state and try to gain some measure of control over your life again really pays off.

Best of luck to you.
Thank you .

I got bullied too, at home and at school. I really wish I would have gotten help years ago so that I could have dealt with all my issues properly and things wouldn't have gotten to this point. But yeah I have trouble expressing my thoughts and it used to be even worse, so I will let the therapist (when I find the strength to go to one) know about it cause I really wouldn't want them to think that I'm being uncooperative or something like that.

I can definitely relate to that "learned helplessness" thing, like technically I know some things that I could do that would make my life better (going to therapy being the main one for now) but then I also have no motivation and I feel that maybe this is just the way I am and there's no solution. And I wish I had better self-esteem, I just feel so worthless and useless most of the time.

I have been looking into forums about depression, social anxiety, etc. which is something I wasn't even doing 2 weeks ago, so at least that is an improvement I suppose.