I don't think she can do that, that also sounds mean to do in general. I hope you are doing OK. I hope everything goes well for you. I am no professional. But I do hope things will get better for you. Stay strong. And know that even if you can't see or talk to her now, that things will get better, and that there are tons of people who reconnect when their children turn 18, so not all hope is lost. I do not know if that helps, but I hope that you will be OK.