so i had an okay day

my mom and sister came to see me. it was kinda spur of the moment. i drove them down a backroad thru the mountains to a small cute city. we walked around to the shops then came back, ate some sushi. they left a little while ago. it was fun, i had fun but i know i was talking a lot. i just couldnt shut up. my sister seemed pretty fine but she is gaining a lot of weight from the AP shot ,she stoppped her meds last time before this big episode because of weight gain

why cant ther ebe a happy medium?? take these pills and dont hear voices but get FAT and go into METABOLIC SYNDROME. OR dont take these pills an dhear voices and have people ostracize you bc you are weird and it makes them uncomfroatble and end up getting ocmiited to some ****ing psych ward for the rest of you life

i am pretty upset right now but not about that. im upset about my therapist and no he didnt do anything recenty its just the whole thing. god hes hurt me so much with these boundary changes, i feel a huge PANG in my chest when i think of it. like OWCH! WTF! i thought he cared.

im not gonna cry right now im just gonna sit here and stare at stuff.i feel suicidal