Zenhussy said what I've been trying to figure out a way to say since you posted that. Thanks Zen.
People aren't mad at you, we're mad at the disease, and what it is taking away from you, and that it is taking you away. We all want to see you get better. Brains can be tricky when they are imbalanced, they make you think oppositely to instinct, which is yelling "LIVE!!!" somewhere inside of you. I hope you hear it. Let someone help you, please.