Have you tried talking to him about this? Is he the type of T that would be receptive to looking at what's going on between you guys, in the room?

How "safe" do you feel? What you said about not being able to open up about the traumas could be a safety thing (it is for me). How long have you been seeing him - less than a year? Do you feel comfortable talking to him? Do you feel like you can trust him to not judge you, to be on your side, to respect you/your boundaries/your confidence?

If you like him, and he seems to be good/qualified - I'd try talking to him about it. Maybe you can figure out what the missing piece is that you need?

Good luck.