Hello Alyhart: You know... I'm an older person now. But many years ago, I can recall being in your shoes. I guess the only difference might be that way back then mental health issues were seen as something to fear & to be embarrassed about. And I don't think I would even have realized I had any mental health problems at the time. It's only looking back now that I can see what a screwed up mess I was. Somehow, I don't know how, I learned very early on that there were things I must never talk to anyone about. And so I didn't. Much of it I still never have.

One of the problems here is that I don't know if you've really said yet what this is all about. I know you mentioned depression & eating / weight gain. But, from what you wrote, it sounds as though there's other stuff as well? I obviously don't know. But as I wrote in a reply to one of your other posts, carrying around a load of secrets is exhausting. I know because I've been doing it all of my life. So I hope that, in some way or other, you can find the strength to open up & ventilate that troubled heart of yours.

If you feel you cannot just put it all out here for everyone here on PC to read & reply to, then perhaps as you go along, you might find another member you feel close enough to so that you could confide in that person via PC's Personal Message function. And then, if you can do that, perhaps you will begin to feel as though you could actually talk with your mom or with a counselor or therapist. Sometimes it can help just to learn how to put what you are feeling into words. I wish you well...