Just my thoughts on this, I think it would be interesting for you to find out what was the reason why talking to that psychiatrist when you were younger felt so intrusive, so disturbing that you couldn't be yourself there. It's very possible that he was't very empathetic and wasn't behaving in a helpful way. It seems you were deeply affected by it and it's hard for you to trust people like this.
I'm sorry you went through that, because that was definitely disturbing for you as its seems.

I believe it's not easy, but there are people, therapists, counselors who are able to help and who you can be open with and who want you to be yourself and don't want you to pretend anything. It's important to listen to yourself and open up gradually, never more than what you feel it's okay for you at a certain time. You deserve the help you need