Hugs. It is part of this illness to feel that way, both people being against you and SI. Focus on some self care right now.

When you feel better work on some of your relationships. The older I have gotten them more I have narrowed my friend list down. Sometimes it is me doing it and sometimes people that cannot accept me at my worst. There are billions of people on this planet, some people need to be let go while others need extra work.

I know it is difficult when it feels like things are falling apart, but sometimes you have to let things simmer down and collect your own thoughts and feeling instead of picking at wounds, let it heal a bit.

The most important thing I have learned, and it has been and continues to be a constant struggle, is that you really have to be mindful. We have to work much harder on it than people that do not have BP.