I called a crisis line. The counselor (and it was a professional counselor) just kept repeating back to me what I was saying. I know that's a technique she was taught in school. I couldn't get passed the technique. I felt like I was talking to a robot. So I broke down sobbing and ended the call. I just want to fall asleep. It's dawn now, and I've been awake since 3 a.m. So I took some Vicodin. Not because I'm having pain at the moment. I took the pain pills to get some relief from mental stress. I know that's a sign of me not coping. I would say I need help. But there isn't any. I wish I could take a bath, but there's no tub here. I'm at my boyfriend's. I feel a weird sensation like a chill or bugs under my skin. I'm hoping the Vicodin will calm that. I can't tell any doctor I take Vicodin for bad depressive episodes. That'll be the end of the Vicodin. Sure, they've got all kinds if psych pills to hand out. I've tried them. They don't help me. I don't see where anti-convulsants or anti-psychotics are any good for depression. They weren't for me anyway. I don't think my problems can be medicated away. And they can't be talked away.