So today I am closing up any social media accounts that I still have floating around that I either never got around to deleting or forgot that I had. I'm also closing down email addresses that are old and shouldn't be used because they are nothing but spam collection boxes for pornography and payday loans. Then I'm going to change all of my passwords to something that is simple and consistent. I will give that list to my wife and only change passwords if we have discussed the situation previously and it's a matter of security. I am no longer going to use a password manager which requires an extra program on my phone and my computer.

I believe I am also going to try and give up the internet for a while. This will mean no longer posting in these forums but also a moratorium on searching for a new job. I am tried of trying to get a new job and coming up short. The stress that I continue to put on myself to secure better pay and a more comfortable working environment is not working out. Maybe I'm here for a reason. Maybe I should just be happy I'm employed during a period where other companies or departments do not believe I am employable. I searched my username on Google and results are pointing to this site. Anyone that knows me realizes that I have, off and on, used this screen name. I tend to reveal too much about my personal life on forums so maybe this is for the best. I also don't want to write something on here that I will later regret, such as a complain about my wife regardless of the validity of said comments or observations.

In recent weeks, there have been some days I have awoken and felt like things would be different. Perhaps at those times there was a chance my day would be better, opportunities would present themselves and I would seize them. But now I realize this just isn't in the cards for me. The universe - I can't say I honestly believe in God right now - has it in for me. My life truly does even out over time. Maybe in the future I'll be in a better position to apply for a new job. Maybe then I will need to apply for a new job.

I am not looking for attention, pity, sympathy, empathy, or even apathy. I am just tired to trying and not getting anywhere. So I'm going to scale back on things and do the bare minimum. Enough not to get in trouble and enough not to exhaust myself physically or emotionally.