Either you're in love with her and don't want to know it, or don't know it (happened to me so not impossible) or you're jealous of what she has with this guy because its something lacking in your own life.

Time to dig deep and get real with yourself...

My bf btw, we were super close friends and I told him daily I loved him for three years, the third year he had to point out that I actually "love loved" him. Lol

Weird how fear can disengage you from your emotions.