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Originally Posted by shakespeare47
Does anyone else have problems disentangling themselves from people?
Every once in a while I find myself involved with people who trouble me, but who I can't seem to shake.
I think mostly it's because I truly want to get along with people, and yet some of those people don't appear to be rational. They would rather yell and cause problems. And if you try to disentangle yourself, they will retaliate and do everything they can to continue the relationship, but on their terms.
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When I was more concerned with taking care of other people's feelings and ignoring my own, I did have trouble disentangling myself from toxic people. But ever since I decided to put my emotional needs first now, instead of taking care of everyone else's feelings I have no problem being upfront with people and setting boundaries with them. If they don't like my changes, pfft, not interested in having them in my life anymore.
If someone retaliates against you, after you try to leave the relationship that is a reflection on how unstable and toxic they are rather than you. Healthy relationships are mutual, and involve people being respectful of each other's boundaries, and telling each other the truth without being punished. If someone punishes you for telling the truth, they have serious mental health problems because that is not how relationships should work.