OE, I respect your insights I do, but when do you suggest or suppose enough is enough?
Where does the OP draw the line in the sand and do what's best for him and his sons?
When does the decay of this marriage stop being solely about appeasing the Mrs?
When do his needs, wants and desires get to matter?

I'm sorry if I haven't been the most empathetic poster on this thread, but I personally just think this whole "woman scorned" bit has been done to death.

You don't give someone you love hope like that and then 60 seconds later do a complete 180 and smash their heart to pieces all over again. It's cold and callous.

Its just plain wrong.