The more I hear about your wife holding out a bit of hope and, then, snatching it back, the less I can believe this is all about her being hurt over the texting incident.

Dad, I think you want to believe your actions caused "the majority of the stuff she is doing" because it helps you hang on to the idea that she was - and can still be - really in love with you. I don't think she is acting like a heart-broken woman at all. She strikes me more as a gal who got bored to death with her marriage and is finding life as a free agent way more interesting. She's not giving that up. I'm beginning to suspect that your wife has some sociopathic tendencies.

But hang in there as long as you like. Time will reveal all.