My boss reprimanded me again this morning. And every time she reprimands me its because I did something she told me to do. She accused me of trying to do her job, which I was not doing at all.

She started out by saying I was sending to many emails to the whole department, which was confusing to me because I've only sent a few, and others have sent far more departmental emails than I have. So this past weekend, I ran into the aide of a donor of ours. And because last year I was in charge of putting together this donor's year-end present, but it's not my account anymore, and everyone in the department is new, I emailed the team and simply asked, is someone aware of this and taking care of it? And I got yes as a reply, and another coworker said he was putting the photo book together, to which I replied, "I would really love to help you with that." That was just an offer of help because my coworkers know I'm an artist and I enjoy crafting projects.

So my supervisor claimed that I demanded to be allowed to work on the photo book, which was clearly not the case, as you can see by the way I worded it above. Then she got onto me because I had a question about another project for the summer when we're in the off season, and I suggested maybe the intern we are getting, who I will be supervising, could work on it. I asked my supervisor to add it to her running list, and I started my own running list for the intern and shared it with everyone. Apparently I was stepping on her toes by creating a to-do list for MY intern (that she assigned to me, btw).

Last week she reprimanded me for working from home on Monday while I was having PTSD symptoms, but when my direct report emailed this morning that she was working from home this morning because she had an upset stomach, she just said "Feel better!" No reprimand for her at all. She tells us to do what we need to do, work from home, take off early, whatever, because we all work a lot of hours and have to find time to do things, like get our hair cut, etc., whenever we can. But then when I do that, when I work from home, or leave early for an appointment, I get reprimanded.

It's driving me crazy that she says one thing is okay then reprimands me for doing exactly what she said was okay. I also feel harassed because of my disability and she knows that I'm allowed certain accommodations, but she reprimands me when I need to use them. It's directly against our employee policies and an ADA Violation. So I have to amend my ADA violation now.

Anyways, I sent a long email expressing this frustration to my HR rep and pleaded with her to help me figure out how to communicate with my new supervisor and understand what she wants from me. I asked her if she and I could meet first, because I want to come from a place of trying to understand not of anger or upsetness, and then she could mediate between me and the new supervisor to help us understand each other better. She was very supportive. She suggested I do a little homework and write out statements that start with "Help me understand why/what/etc..." so that it comes from a place of wanting to understand what she wants so it doesn't always feel like a moving target.

I know that I am not a problem employee. I have never had these issues with supervisors before. Even at my last job, where we personally did not like each other, we both respected each other and congratulated each other and helped each other when we had to do things that weren't our strengths. I was treated like a colleague and like an adult. My current supervisor treats me like a child and has to correct everything I say, even when what I say isn't wrong. And my CEO is just an *** who is going to lose the ADA lawsuit I've filed.

But here's an example. We were talking today about how 60% of our revenue was coming in during the 4th quarter. One co-worker, who is less experienced, asked, is it just this way everywhere? How do we change that so it's not so nail-biting. And the supervisor said, oh we've tried for years to change when donors give." And then I chimed in and said, well at the museum that I worked at, it wasn't all in the 4th quarter or at my last organization or the social service organization I've worked at." And then she looked at me really pissy and said "really?! well, every arts organization I've ever worked at, museums, symphonies, it's always in the 4th quarter."

Whenever I express something from my past experience she always invalidates it and never wants to hear or learn anything from me. In fact, that's the problem. She thinks she's the teacher, and that none of us can teach her anything. I had wanted to continue on and explain that at our museum, we had events year-round, we didn't have an off season, and we had a huge gala every April, so the 3rd quarter was larger for us, and then it would always revolve around different big events, so not necessarily based on a "season" since we didn't run on a season, we were open year-round. And there would be something to learn there. If we had a summer series or did an event at a different time of the year, that could change when our revenue comes in...but no, nothing I say has any validity.

I really just can't take it any more. I couldn't get any work done after my morning meeting with her because I was just so upset and distraught that I had not only been reprimanded, but treated so hostilely. Plus, when I'm in a position like that, where I'm being accused of things, I can't defend myself because 1) it's a PTSD response of mine to just placate and say nothing in my defense or to help her understand (like that I offered to help because I"m an artist and the coworker knew that) and 2) because they'll just say I'm being insubordinate. So at this point, I'm just the scapegoat that takes all the blame.

The woman owes me a downright apology. She has treated me like **** from day one.

But I won't get it. And I have got to figure out how to work with her, because I have no where else to go. Hopefully this mediation with HR will help me understand what she wants from me. My other purpose in that is that it's documented what she's asking, so she can't turn around and reprimand me for doing exactly as she asked.

I can't wait for my ADA complaint to hit. I wasn't in it for the money, but now...well, I deserve some damages. ANd not necessarily for the above, but for the other stuff I've described in other threads.

Seesaw