Hello Bobbage: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I trust you will find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

As far as your particular concerns go, I will tell you I've been married for 38 years. And one thing I know is that it takes a whale of a lot of compassion & forgiveness to keep a relationship going for that long. A heaping helping of open communication doesn't do a bit of harm either.

My personal opinion is that you have to find a way to broach this subject with your gf. Yes, I think all of the concerns you listed are certainly legitimate. However, not knowing where you stand is eating you up inside. And in addition, it seems to me, not talking about this sets a bad precedent for the future of keeping hurt feelings bottled up & ruminating over them.

Certainly you want to be careful how you approach this. And you don't want to make a big deal out of it. But it is important, in my opinion, that you find a way to talk honestly with your gf about your feelings. At least those are my thoughts with regard to your post. I wish you well...