I live in a share house in the city on weekends and on Friday night we had a house warming. We invited a stack of people and obviously had plenty to drink. A few of us went to a club and continued drinking there until around 4am (According to a message I sent a Friend at that time saying I was heading home) I left the club with what I thought were a group of close friends and went home. There's around 17 of us that have a share in this particular share house which we use on weekends (we all live out of the city so it makes a nice get away house when we want to have fun on the weekend) and of those 17 only 3 of us are girls so we get our own room. On Friday I was the only girl at the house so I had my room all to myself, or so I thought. One of my 'friends' decided he wanted to sleep on the floor and I was too drunk to argue more then a little with him so I gave up and went to sleep/passed out.

I woke up a little while later when he crawled into my bed, I tried to tell him to go sleep on the couch but by this point I was very drunk and couldn't really find the energy to care more then a little. I told him to stay on his side and passed out again. It was a few hours later when I woke up again suddenly and realized something was wrong. He had penetrated me from behind and I had no idea how long he had been going for. I was in complete shock and still incredibly drunk. I couldn't even move, my brain had stopped working, so I just lay there letting him do what he liked because I couldn't figure out what to do to stop it. Im still not sure how long it was before I managed to think of rolling over 'in my sleep' so he didn't have ' access' any more. I also have no idea how long I continued to lie there pretending to be 'asleep' before he gave up. I just know that when he did finally fall asleep I found the energy and determination to get up and move to the couch where I passed out again.

The next morning he acted like nothing happened and he kept asking people "what did we do last night? I was so drunk I don't remember". I had no idea what to do, so up until now I have just been ignoring what happened. But tonight I cant get to sleep, I keep thinking over and over that it was my fault. That somehow I gave him a sign that said 'do what you want well I'm passed out'.

I feel so guilty but at the same time I don't know what I could have done differently. I was very drunk and clearly not with it but I don't think that's an excuse for what this guy did to me. I don't know where to go from here. I guess my question is, was this rape? Technically I was drunk and he was drunk but at no time did I consent to him doing what he did. I mean I was passed out on my bed when he started and I have no idea how long he had been doing it.