Quote:
Originally Posted by DadFMF
Open Eyes, I never said she couldn't have friends or A life. I do demand respect and boundaries though. I agree we should have went to counseling a while ago, but I never physically hung out or brought my kids around another woman. She did all this behind my back. I'm not saying what I did by texting was right, cause I was wrong. Sometimes life and priorities change when your married, you are no longer single. If individuals wanted to live a single life, be single and don't have a family. That faze will get old after a while. It's been definitley a learning lesson either way.
I just feel a decision has to be made at this point. We haven't lived together in over a year. If she wants the single life, come and go as she pleases and stay out all hours of the night or to hang out with members of the opposite sex who's motives are not good, BE SINGLE! Then Atleast you won't have to answer to someone. Can't have your cake and eat it too. Can't be married part time
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Out of the year though you were deployed for nine months. So, it's only been a couple of months since you have been back and around?
I understand how you are upset and I am not saying you don't have a right to be either. You set some things in motion and your wife out of anger etc. went out with a mindset of anger. Her ego and self esteem was injured and she acted on that.
What I wrote in my post above is a "possible" of what she could have going on in "her" mind. Remember, I don't have any of her input and I only have your version. I can't call her a bad person and I certainly can't diagnose her as being disordered in some way either. I could steer you in the wrong direction and encourage your decision, but I don't want to do that, that's none of my business and the decision between a couple is not something I would want to be a part of either. I can see you are taking time with this decision and I can respect that. Not to mention the fact that this is not "just" about you and her, you have children together and in that alone you will have a relationship with each other as their parents.
You were both bored with your relationship, you were just room mates. THAT can happen in marriages and that is when a partner is in danger of straying outside the marriage looking for the companionship that is missing in the marriage. This age you both are at right now? This is the age where marriages can fall apart like this. Actually, the trend that is taking shape now is how people are waiting longer before getting married and having children.
This generation is a bit different in that the dynamics have changed in that women are encouraged more and more to have their own identity and not have to "get permission" from their spouses. You are not the first to stand in confusion like this. I am 60 and when I was in my thirties I did see the affects of this change where women wanted more than just "I am a mother and wife role". Women don't feel secure with that anymore either. The trend for women now is to be more independent.