No, that is not what I am saying. I can see you are frustrated and how that can lead to angry sarcasm. I can see you are trying to be "responsible" and I respect that.

I posted that "possible" from her perspective because I think what was missing in your marriage for both of you was important. Think about it, "what was your relationship?". Did you do things together, did you engage in each other and sit up late and just talk? She talked about dating, did you ever actually do that? Or, are you just asking her to make the decision about the marriage? See, there is her life, and your life, and the life you build together, and the life you were supposed to be building together was missing so you looked elsewhere, and that hit her ego and she looked elsewhere and realizing something that was missing.

Did you take vacations with each other? Did you make plans to have some quality alone time with her? Did you take her out and wrap your warm hand around hers and go for walks or bring her into you in warm ways? Or, did she just live around you? I have a feeling this other guy did some of that and she realized how that was missing in her life.

What is an actual "date" to you, would you actually know how to plan it? Would you think to pack a dinner with wine and take her to the beach and sit by the water and eat and have wine and take her hand in yours and walk along the beach with each other? Would you be able to just talk and leave out what you want of her and instead just have a nice evening out with her?

Also, can she do that "with you" too? What is your idea of a marriage? Maybe you should date and actually see if you could actually have a relationship with her. I think you both need to know that because if you can't really have that then you should get divorced and look for someone you "can" have that with.