i cant

i have to bury all of this in order to survive right now

im not in a stable enough environment to do that

i cant deal with that stuff right now

i have to deal with my entrapment first

i have to get out, i have to be ok right now, i cant deal with the past

everything has to be ok, i have to forget about it all

its not time, i dont know if it ever will be time

its too much

i just need to go back to the way i was, i can do that

i can live like that, i can handle that, maybe its not full life

but its a life i can live and survive, i cant handle this right now

i have to get out, i have to be ok, i have to survive, i cant deal with it right now......

im going to just close my eyes again, i dont need to see it anymore

i dont need to know anymore, i can block it all out, its what i did all the time before

why did i ever stop? i dont know

even the therapist said he dont know where i got this from

i dont know either

but i cant deal with it right now, i have to fix things right now

i have to survive right now... i cant deal with it....