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I understand being confused, I do, but see the huge difference in how she vacillates?
Tiny bit of pull, please stay with me, compared to Big strong messages of I don't want you anymore.
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I think the big strong message is more about not wanting the kind of life and relationship she had.
It sounds like they are both somewhat passive because neither of them are making a decision about this situation. At least Dad has reached out for therapy. By the way, what has the therapist's input been?
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Again, her words and actions do not provide any indication of a woman who is committed to her husband.
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No, she is not committed at this point. That's been changed and yet, there was not real "interactive" relationship going on for a length of time either so what were they committed to, being room mates?